I started to feel better as the morning went on. I think I am seriously lacking sleep & I'm not allowing my body to catch up or keep up on the sleep it needs.
After the kids watched some PBS while I tried to gain rest on the couch, we ate breakfast, got dressed, & such. I did some cleaning (light stuff) and put away laundry while the kids played in their bedroom. We did get to web cam with Brandon. Gami woke up asking for Brandon again today. It was sweet. I think we are all more than ready for Brandon to come home!
G & E took turns taking pictures...
Lunch was yummy and naps went well. Gami napped today. I wasn't sure if he would, but he ended up falling asleep while I was web-camming with Brandon. I wasted my downtime while the kids napped. I am NOT proud of that! It wasn't even like I got things accomplished while sitting at the desk. NOT cool! I do not feel good as a wife or homemaker when that happens.
After the kids got up from naps I made fudge while they danced to music. Then dinner while Brandon was on web-cam. After dinner (I didn't eat & had no appetite) we talked to Brandon for a few minutes before getting ready to leave for an event on-campus. I took the kids to a Valentines Sweets Celebration. Really it was just a get together with some finger foods and desserts. G & E liked playing with the other kids there and I enjoyed some "Mom Time" talking to other moms. Bed went well tonight & brought me great relief that it did. Gami asked me to lay with him. I had to start the dishwasher and close-up shop (clean off stove, wipe down counters, start dishwasher load, etc.). I should have gone to bed RIGHT away, but I didn't.
That's when my night got worse... I just got caught up on the computer doing meaningless things! I hate the feeling of being counter-productive!!!!! Several times I had that voice in my head that said "go to bed now...you don't need to be doing that now..." UGH!! I didn't listen and so now I am still awake at 3am. I think the last time I was up this late/"early" was in college (back in 2006). It is not a good feeling. I am now at a point of being unsure if I will even fall asleep peacefully and get sleep before the kids get up. I also wonder if it's worth it. G & E will be up by 7am; 4hrs from now. So I am listening to some soothing, spiritual mediation (God-focused songs) songs that I have on my iPod while my computer protection software does a full scan (it's taking a while).
I really could use something SERIOUS from God right now... Sitting in silence & waiting can be good, but I need Him to meet me in a real way! Ever feel that way? Do you ever feel like when you need God the most it is then that you feel/sense Him the least? "Why is that?," I wonder. Either way, I'm still awake with no sleeping in sight...I need a serious renewal from God and now would be a good time for my heavy heart.
Before bed, I am putting away the TV & DVD player. I think we need another fast from this.
Day 38 (Mon 2/14)--I had a few people ask how my V-Day was... Well, we don't celebrate it, but as a day in general..... it was MISERABLE!! It was certainly a challenge that I know I needed, but didn't really enjoy. Funny thing is that I had some peace deep down inside as I went about the day.
I only got 3hrs sleep last night and the kids were both cranky & fussy from the moment they woke up. Everything seemed to draaaaaaag! I took them to the library because I needed to get out of the house with them! The liked that a lot! Then they got fussy again as soon as we left. So, I went to Chick-Fil-A and we ate inside. FEW! They liked that a lot too. They ate well and played in the play room for a bit. By the time we left their moods had changed a bit. Down for naps they went as soon as we got home. Gami asked me to lay with him again today, so I did! We all woke up about 2hrs and 15min after I laid down, giving all of us a much-needed rest!!! Were the kids more cheerful after that? No, but if anything it gave me a bit of energy to deal with G & E the rest of the day.
I found out that friends of ours from Texas were driving through Denver on their way to a new duty station. I was so excited and I went to meet them for dinner. It was soooo good to see them! I miss being able to spend more time with her, but grateful we can stay in touch through other means (Facebook, email, etc.).
It was late by the time I got home & kids into bed. I had some wide-down time and then into bed I went (before 11:30pm--WAHOOO!!).
Day 39 (Tues 2/15)--Today has been a much better day! The kids woke up very happy today and I feel good too. The kids were great & happy all morning. I did about 10minutes of Yoga before taking them to my friend's house. While they were out of the house, I ordered some elderberries (to make syrup) and started to cut some fabric for a quilt. Ahna did GREAT when I dropped her off today, but Gami was the difficult one. He asked me to go back home and he refused to take off his boots and coat. So, I told him that he had to sit by the door (at my friend's house) as long as he was wearing boots. My friend told me later that he sat there with boots and coat on for just over 1hr, until he went on the potty (& peed his pants). When I arrived to pick him up, he didn't want to leave & told me "I need to stay, Ima."
Lunch went well. Ahna was excited for soup & ate 2 bowls of it! After lunch the kids watched a movie of Bible stories that Brandon's parents sent. The kids liked it a lot. Ahna liked to dance to the songs between the stories. My sweet girl went down well for a nap today. For the last few days she wakes up crying about half way through, but goes back to sleep. Not sure why, but she does... Gami played with some educational toys (rubber band board and magnets) while I put a load of laundry into the washer. Gami had a tough time going down for a nap today. He was fussy, but eventually got quiet and fell asleep. I knew he was tired so I ignored him a few minutes & he was out. AAAAHhhhhh.....quiet!!!!
After naps, Ahna was chipper & Gami, as usual, was cranky. We did web cam with Brandon for a bit before I had to get ready for Manna (Food Ministry). I left as early as I could for Manna. I was the second person to arrive and about the 6th person to get called for food pick-up. I was so happy to be home by 7:20pm!! Then, the kids were asking for "orange soup" (Tomato soup). They don't eat it with crackers, bread, etc. They just like to slurp up the soup; sharing 1 can to themselves. We did a web-cam to say good-night to Brandon & then at 8pm I put the kids to bed. It took about 40min, but the kids are quietly sleeping now. Time for me to get off & go to bed as well. Busy day tomorrow!!!
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